Thank you for the work you are doing, educating people who have never interacted with the family courts. After twelve years in this system, it is so gratifying to see that the courts are slowly but surely getting more and more attention on them. I hope 2024 brings major change. I'm so grateful for your voice and expertise in this fight!
Thank you Dr. Lee for your continued efforts to bring this terrible situation into public awareness. Another necessary alert. It is only through your work that I am alerted. I hugely appreciate this education and look forward continued knowledge.
Canada recently provided a New Divorce Act. This Act makes psychological and physical abuse the primary consideration. The Act also describes what financial abuse it, and removing necessities of life. For over seven years I tried to get my child back. He was kidnaped during the first hearing in Canada, and the lawyer lied to the federally appointed judge saying the child contacted his father 'all night'. The father had a TRO against him. Since that time, I won a Divisional Court Appeal and a US state case but the other party refused to follow these orders. He circumnavigated the US, denying me entry by writing a defamatory letter to Homeland Security. I am now filming a documentary about the prevalence of predation in the family court, but also, anywhere there are vulnerable parties, and no disclosure. The courts in both Canada and the US are rife with legal representation that are little more than long arms of their payor.
Once this becomes knowledge we will see that children are denied their voice - rather their voice is taken to be used. Judges who recognize it are ignored, and hauxes are created. Children who at first, if they are old enough, will talk, but with time, they become frozen. This is the after effect of their leveraging.
There needs to be full public disclosure as to how this works, how law is derailed, how assets are taken in this one arena.
Many women warned me before the fact however the experience - the factor of evictions which is so commonly a force to make women and children homeless - creating a gender apartheid.
In 2024 the UN, with Hilary Clinton, examines the issue.
Women do more than raise children, they take care of the environment, and justice. Without their input the earth is more endanged. I will say as well, that the corruption in the family court applies also to men, if they do not have the lawyer who uses these methods. It is quite standard for a lawyer to take what is given from the other side and turn it around and send it back, an example of gaslighting, and wealth building.
I was threatened by email after having won the appeal, and the two state cases (US and Ontario) by a child family lawyer who was not appointed by the court. He said, "You are denied" when I wrote he could not interview my child alone. He also said that he would call for a later hearing while we attended court if I did not serve him. This kind of action creates cost, time, and emotional danger to the protective parent. While he was reprimanded and my child was ordered to be reintegrated, this did not happen.
Europe has a human rights court but in North America there is not this option when courts are found to be faulty.
SOLUTION: Sadly, I don't have solutions about fixing the corrupt, incompetent family court system. However, I ask why not require a "MARRIAGE LICENSE" to screen & test for those who are (or will become) dangerous to their own children? A marriage license should require psychiatric screening; "hard core boot-camp training" plus "warning contracts" and "fall-back protection tools" so protective, loving parents & their children are not trapped in nightmare situations like I have been for 30+ years. Effective, In-depth training (not reading a chapter in a book, but hands on training) on topics like "What to Look For in Domestic Abuse" -- "What-to-Do-In-Case-This-Happens" types of practical & effective tools, that could include everything from domestic abuse survivors talking-one-on-one to brain scans for personality disorders to setting up "emergency get-out-of-Dodge" financial accounts. Why shouldn't marriage licenses require extensive, in-depth training" with both partners on: domestic violence, domestic abuse, coercive control, child abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, etc., (and I don't mean watching a single webinar & "discussing" it for 15 minutes after... like they do in the Catholic Church which is a "joke")-- The lives that could be saved by this new approach to a marriage license would be countless... This educational, training, screening in order to receive a Marriage License will not be infallable nor save everyone, but even if it saves one child's life... it is worth it... Why not?
Nobody wants a bureaucratic state giving "marriage licenses". Such system will create massive Govt overreach into Private lives of citizens and create its own kind of evils. Only solution is healthy education system that can build better humans, healthy judicial system that can deliver justice and overall healthy society where child abuse is minimal and when it happens, it is dealt swiftly with justice.
If you want to start a new thread on "government over-reach" I encourage you to do so... Especially on the topic of how the United States government "over-reaches" into the uteruses of pregnant women & tells them what they can & cannot do with their own bodies re abortion. Now THAT IS outrageous, grotesque GOVERNMENT OVER-REACH... Only in the United States can a woman own an unlimited, deadly arsenal of firearms.... but NOT her own uterus... Disgusting & extreme government over-reach for sure!
You are ranting on the wrong person. I support abortion right & strongly object overturning of Roe vs Wade. So don't tell me about the outrage you feel about abortion issue.
And you want to create a system of marriage licenses in a nation which has OVERTURNED Roe vs Wade. Do you trust the Govt/state to use the system of "marriage licenses" for its actually intended purposes?
Regarding education of people. Sure, i support spreading awareness of spousal and child abuse & efficient govt monitoring system for that also. I just don't want Govt to issue "marriage licenses", permission from Big Brother to get married.
Also, why would anyone who is emotionally & mentally healthy be "afraid" or "intimidated" of getting psychiatrically screened under a functional MRI-like machine? Like I've said: "People who have nothing to hide.... hide nothing..." I would have no problems getting screened for psychiatric & mental illness... Do you? Is that why you are calling education, screening & prevention of child abuse "intrusive Big Brother?" PS I don't "Rant"... I analyze... and debate. I also like to solve problems as I have a very analytical mind driven to keep trying to solve a problem until it's... "solved." :) lol
Last point: If you confuse healthy, respectful debate & discourse (which is clearly what I've written) with "Ranting" I would respectfully ask you why would you confuse "Ranting" with "Debating" or even discussing creative problem solving???
Your false statement: "So don't tell me...." (????) Once again, where did I "tell you" anything? YOU yourself brought up the topic of "Government Over-reach" to my statement that we need to PREVENT child abuse... (not "wait until it happens, then react..." (which is what you are stating...) I merely stated a better factual case/abortion about government politicians over-reaching into a person's uterus (which is akin to psychological rape). Educating & Preventing child abuse & domestic violence is NOT over-reach... It's factually PREVENTION... I wonder why anyone would be intimidated or perturbed like you are in getting people educated & training enough to avoid domestic violence or child abuse & confusing it with "government over-reach"????? Now THAT is a question I am definitely proposing to you for an answer! :)
(1) Where did I say you did or did not support abortion rights? You presumed something that clearly I never said. Why? (2) As per your statement: "Permission from Big Brother to get married"... maybe you don't live in the USA, or you're just really too young to know this... but this is already a fact in the United States as a marriage license is granted by the local town governments; it is required in order to have the LEGAL STATUS of being "married." & there previously really were requirements & disqualifications of being granted a marriage license years ago & then they got rid of most of them. (3) Your disingenuous statement: "Sure I support ...." is useless as you do not state any solutions or plans like my SOLUTION does...
Educating people who want to be married is not government over-reach; it's prevention. Educating people & having safe-guard protections from abusive spouses saves lives & their children's lives. People who are educated about abusive spouses/abusive parenting will have better odds of having a happy marriage, family & children (as well as escaping an abuser & landing on their feet financially & emotionally), as well as helping to have a balanced healthy society. How is that "over-reach?" How is that breaching privacy? Why wait until after the fact when children are already being abused? That makes no sense. Educating people about toxic, mentally unstable partners is not over-reach; it's PREVENTION... to prevent their own & their children's lives from getting destroyed. How is that a "bad thing?" What you do in your private marriage is nobody's business... but as soon as that marriage becomes abusive... it's EVERYONE'S BUSINESS... Like I said, people who have nothing to hide... hide nothing... and DOMESTIC ABUSE & CHILD ABUSE thrives in the darkness of being hidden...
Thank you, Dr. Bandy X Lee, for your continuous and expansive bravery in exposing and bringing awareness to the multiple sources of violence that exist within the United States and other countries. I know that you do your work, research, and teaching because you are an authentic and virtuous human being and your expertise and extensive experience in violence prevention is increasingly critical. It is pretty shocking to learn how much Family Court's atrocities are routine norms. But it isn't hard to believe either. I don't have direct experience myself, but I have friends who do. A close friend is the paternal grandmother of her son's 3 children, and I have observed how he, as their father, positively interacts with, and truly loves his 3 young biological children, and they are desperately confused as to why they are not allowed to live with their father whom they are not afraid of. He has been denied custody, and even reasonable visitation rights. Their biological mother is an abusive narcissist who repeats a pattern of emotional sabotage and neglect to maintain control of their father's employment stability and domestic lifestyle. Without any investigation by the family court, the judges grant custody to their maternal grandmother who is a drug addict and prostitute who sleeps with the judges. How outrageously cruel that innocent children are sentenced to tragic life threatening environments. I am compelled to learn more about this.
"This happens because, even though false reports of abuse are as rare as 0.1 percent, according to the U.S. Department of Human Health Services, "
This is misleading; there is no actual research into false allegations of abuse in family court. Most of the false allegations do not make it to CPS. There is no (or minimal) research into family court because, like your colleagues at Harvard, competent, professional researchers abandoned families in family court forty years ago.
One of your students may need a research subject and wants to look into it.
==
Quote: "Since I am relatively new in my research into the Family Courts,"
I can introduce you to people who know what the problems are. With your contacts and what they have found, we can expedite a sustainable solution: eliminate mental health professionals' incompetence and unethical behavior in the court, accurately identify the problem in each case, and provide the courts with consistent evaluations based on actual knowledge.
A university-involved pilot program would be helpful.
Listening to them does not mean agreeing with them. Just listen.
As someone in the medical field I have to admit that this seems to be an exaggeration. I would think that investigative reporters would be churning out stories regularly and we’d be hearing about friends or families suffering from these family court rulings. Every family court judge is corrupt?
It is a culture—and an industry that fiercely protects itself. The level of medical harm has finally become known in the U.K. (there, where the problem is less severe, the government ordered these Star Chambers to allow in reporters as of this year—and the sheer number of deaths are staggering: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-66531409).
Thank you for the work you are doing, educating people who have never interacted with the family courts. After twelve years in this system, it is so gratifying to see that the courts are slowly but surely getting more and more attention on them. I hope 2024 brings major change. I'm so grateful for your voice and expertise in this fight!
Thank you Dr. Lee for your continued efforts to bring this terrible situation into public awareness. Another necessary alert. It is only through your work that I am alerted. I hugely appreciate this education and look forward continued knowledge.
Canada recently provided a New Divorce Act. This Act makes psychological and physical abuse the primary consideration. The Act also describes what financial abuse it, and removing necessities of life. For over seven years I tried to get my child back. He was kidnaped during the first hearing in Canada, and the lawyer lied to the federally appointed judge saying the child contacted his father 'all night'. The father had a TRO against him. Since that time, I won a Divisional Court Appeal and a US state case but the other party refused to follow these orders. He circumnavigated the US, denying me entry by writing a defamatory letter to Homeland Security. I am now filming a documentary about the prevalence of predation in the family court, but also, anywhere there are vulnerable parties, and no disclosure. The courts in both Canada and the US are rife with legal representation that are little more than long arms of their payor.
Once this becomes knowledge we will see that children are denied their voice - rather their voice is taken to be used. Judges who recognize it are ignored, and hauxes are created. Children who at first, if they are old enough, will talk, but with time, they become frozen. This is the after effect of their leveraging.
There needs to be full public disclosure as to how this works, how law is derailed, how assets are taken in this one arena.
Many women warned me before the fact however the experience - the factor of evictions which is so commonly a force to make women and children homeless - creating a gender apartheid.
In 2024 the UN, with Hilary Clinton, examines the issue.
Women do more than raise children, they take care of the environment, and justice. Without their input the earth is more endanged. I will say as well, that the corruption in the family court applies also to men, if they do not have the lawyer who uses these methods. It is quite standard for a lawyer to take what is given from the other side and turn it around and send it back, an example of gaslighting, and wealth building.
I was threatened by email after having won the appeal, and the two state cases (US and Ontario) by a child family lawyer who was not appointed by the court. He said, "You are denied" when I wrote he could not interview my child alone. He also said that he would call for a later hearing while we attended court if I did not serve him. This kind of action creates cost, time, and emotional danger to the protective parent. While he was reprimanded and my child was ordered to be reintegrated, this did not happen.
Europe has a human rights court but in North America there is not this option when courts are found to be faulty.
SOLUTION: Sadly, I don't have solutions about fixing the corrupt, incompetent family court system. However, I ask why not require a "MARRIAGE LICENSE" to screen & test for those who are (or will become) dangerous to their own children? A marriage license should require psychiatric screening; "hard core boot-camp training" plus "warning contracts" and "fall-back protection tools" so protective, loving parents & their children are not trapped in nightmare situations like I have been for 30+ years. Effective, In-depth training (not reading a chapter in a book, but hands on training) on topics like "What to Look For in Domestic Abuse" -- "What-to-Do-In-Case-This-Happens" types of practical & effective tools, that could include everything from domestic abuse survivors talking-one-on-one to brain scans for personality disorders to setting up "emergency get-out-of-Dodge" financial accounts. Why shouldn't marriage licenses require extensive, in-depth training" with both partners on: domestic violence, domestic abuse, coercive control, child abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, etc., (and I don't mean watching a single webinar & "discussing" it for 15 minutes after... like they do in the Catholic Church which is a "joke")-- The lives that could be saved by this new approach to a marriage license would be countless... This educational, training, screening in order to receive a Marriage License will not be infallable nor save everyone, but even if it saves one child's life... it is worth it... Why not?
CBC recently posted this article https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatoon/survivors-of-domestic-violence-seek-educational-reforms-1.7052409
Nobody wants a bureaucratic state giving "marriage licenses". Such system will create massive Govt overreach into Private lives of citizens and create its own kind of evils. Only solution is healthy education system that can build better humans, healthy judicial system that can deliver justice and overall healthy society where child abuse is minimal and when it happens, it is dealt swiftly with justice.
If you want to start a new thread on "government over-reach" I encourage you to do so... Especially on the topic of how the United States government "over-reaches" into the uteruses of pregnant women & tells them what they can & cannot do with their own bodies re abortion. Now THAT IS outrageous, grotesque GOVERNMENT OVER-REACH... Only in the United States can a woman own an unlimited, deadly arsenal of firearms.... but NOT her own uterus... Disgusting & extreme government over-reach for sure!
You are ranting on the wrong person. I support abortion right & strongly object overturning of Roe vs Wade. So don't tell me about the outrage you feel about abortion issue.
And you want to create a system of marriage licenses in a nation which has OVERTURNED Roe vs Wade. Do you trust the Govt/state to use the system of "marriage licenses" for its actually intended purposes?
Regarding education of people. Sure, i support spreading awareness of spousal and child abuse & efficient govt monitoring system for that also. I just don't want Govt to issue "marriage licenses", permission from Big Brother to get married.
Also, why would anyone who is emotionally & mentally healthy be "afraid" or "intimidated" of getting psychiatrically screened under a functional MRI-like machine? Like I've said: "People who have nothing to hide.... hide nothing..." I would have no problems getting screened for psychiatric & mental illness... Do you? Is that why you are calling education, screening & prevention of child abuse "intrusive Big Brother?" PS I don't "Rant"... I analyze... and debate. I also like to solve problems as I have a very analytical mind driven to keep trying to solve a problem until it's... "solved." :) lol
Last point: If you confuse healthy, respectful debate & discourse (which is clearly what I've written) with "Ranting" I would respectfully ask you why would you confuse "Ranting" with "Debating" or even discussing creative problem solving???
Your false statement: "So don't tell me...." (????) Once again, where did I "tell you" anything? YOU yourself brought up the topic of "Government Over-reach" to my statement that we need to PREVENT child abuse... (not "wait until it happens, then react..." (which is what you are stating...) I merely stated a better factual case/abortion about government politicians over-reaching into a person's uterus (which is akin to psychological rape). Educating & Preventing child abuse & domestic violence is NOT over-reach... It's factually PREVENTION... I wonder why anyone would be intimidated or perturbed like you are in getting people educated & training enough to avoid domestic violence or child abuse & confusing it with "government over-reach"????? Now THAT is a question I am definitely proposing to you for an answer! :)
(1) Where did I say you did or did not support abortion rights? You presumed something that clearly I never said. Why? (2) As per your statement: "Permission from Big Brother to get married"... maybe you don't live in the USA, or you're just really too young to know this... but this is already a fact in the United States as a marriage license is granted by the local town governments; it is required in order to have the LEGAL STATUS of being "married." & there previously really were requirements & disqualifications of being granted a marriage license years ago & then they got rid of most of them. (3) Your disingenuous statement: "Sure I support ...." is useless as you do not state any solutions or plans like my SOLUTION does...
Educating people who want to be married is not government over-reach; it's prevention. Educating people & having safe-guard protections from abusive spouses saves lives & their children's lives. People who are educated about abusive spouses/abusive parenting will have better odds of having a happy marriage, family & children (as well as escaping an abuser & landing on their feet financially & emotionally), as well as helping to have a balanced healthy society. How is that "over-reach?" How is that breaching privacy? Why wait until after the fact when children are already being abused? That makes no sense. Educating people about toxic, mentally unstable partners is not over-reach; it's PREVENTION... to prevent their own & their children's lives from getting destroyed. How is that a "bad thing?" What you do in your private marriage is nobody's business... but as soon as that marriage becomes abusive... it's EVERYONE'S BUSINESS... Like I said, people who have nothing to hide... hide nothing... and DOMESTIC ABUSE & CHILD ABUSE thrives in the darkness of being hidden...
Thank you, Dr. Bandy X Lee, for your continuous and expansive bravery in exposing and bringing awareness to the multiple sources of violence that exist within the United States and other countries. I know that you do your work, research, and teaching because you are an authentic and virtuous human being and your expertise and extensive experience in violence prevention is increasingly critical. It is pretty shocking to learn how much Family Court's atrocities are routine norms. But it isn't hard to believe either. I don't have direct experience myself, but I have friends who do. A close friend is the paternal grandmother of her son's 3 children, and I have observed how he, as their father, positively interacts with, and truly loves his 3 young biological children, and they are desperately confused as to why they are not allowed to live with their father whom they are not afraid of. He has been denied custody, and even reasonable visitation rights. Their biological mother is an abusive narcissist who repeats a pattern of emotional sabotage and neglect to maintain control of their father's employment stability and domestic lifestyle. Without any investigation by the family court, the judges grant custody to their maternal grandmother who is a drug addict and prostitute who sleeps with the judges. How outrageously cruel that innocent children are sentenced to tragic life threatening environments. I am compelled to learn more about this.
Quote:
"This happens because, even though false reports of abuse are as rare as 0.1 percent, according to the U.S. Department of Human Health Services, "
This is misleading; there is no actual research into false allegations of abuse in family court. Most of the false allegations do not make it to CPS. There is no (or minimal) research into family court because, like your colleagues at Harvard, competent, professional researchers abandoned families in family court forty years ago.
One of your students may need a research subject and wants to look into it.
==
Quote: "Since I am relatively new in my research into the Family Courts,"
I can introduce you to people who know what the problems are. With your contacts and what they have found, we can expedite a sustainable solution: eliminate mental health professionals' incompetence and unethical behavior in the court, accurately identify the problem in each case, and provide the courts with consistent evaluations based on actual knowledge.
A university-involved pilot program would be helpful.
Listening to them does not mean agreeing with them. Just listen.
Raul Zighelboim
rzighel@gmail.com
This may explain the mothers who flee with their children -- often to another state.
As someone in the medical field I have to admit that this seems to be an exaggeration. I would think that investigative reporters would be churning out stories regularly and we’d be hearing about friends or families suffering from these family court rulings. Every family court judge is corrupt?
It is a culture—and an industry that fiercely protects itself. The level of medical harm has finally become known in the U.K. (there, where the problem is less severe, the government ordered these Star Chambers to allow in reporters as of this year—and the sheer number of deaths are staggering: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-66531409).
Truth✨
Unfortunately it can go the other way, especially with overzealous or poorly trained medical professionals.
https://www.thecut.com/article/child-abuse-munchausen-syndrome-by-proxy.html